YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize