Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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