Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
