fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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