So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
