I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
