Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
