It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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