no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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