Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
He better not be in your backpack
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
