This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
