I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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