But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
