My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
