I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
