I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
