once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
