ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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