if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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