Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
