I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
