I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fill condoms, not promises.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize