dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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