Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
