therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
