So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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