Screwed.edu
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
