wakey wakey hands off snakey
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
