Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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