The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I'm at about main and main street
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
