my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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