Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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