I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
