I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
