You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize