her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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