why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
