I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize