i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
