Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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