he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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