i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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