We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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