just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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