I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
