I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
