Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
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