forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
His hands were made for my vagina.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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