Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
