He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
