Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I'm passing your future prison.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
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