Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
