...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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