everyone is single if you try hard enough
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
