Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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