last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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