Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'm sobbing to NWA
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize