I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
