white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
